pumped up kicks

The first item was
On sale for 29.99

I hopped on it though
Knowing it wasn't quite my style

It was just time
It was just time

For my 21st I saved myself
A stack of bills
That afforded me the full grain
Leather upper, with rubber sole
Laced comfortably around
My stern ankle.

It was just time
It was just time

Both took me to places
I will never forget.
And experiences
I will no doubt always cherish.

So as my socks soaked over
My toes became frail.
Shrill and sentiment bump heads.

I hate to let them go.


But it was just time
It was just time

Off

Shut me off please
I beg of you to
Turn off the switch that
Keeps me up at night.
I ache, restless
I'm tortured and cornered.
Stuck in a rut, stuck in time.
Stuck writing this useless rhyme.
That no one will hear
Unless I scream but I fear
Myself.
I'm helpless and tired
And sick and I'm wired
These thoughts pound
And pound at my door
I implode and hold
All the frustrations
And its wrong.
I cannot stand
And I cannot lie. I try
To take out and show you
What's inside.
My heart feels heavy weighing down on me.
My eyes tear and my vision is blurry.
I close my eyelids but
My mind shifts into somethin I can't capture.
3:33 am it's been hours since
My last attempt to sleep.
I turn and toss I count sheep
Across and over the fence
I pretend things will be okay
When I sleep my nightmares begin.
It dragged me on the floor
Showing me things I've seen before
Then to a dark grizzly corridor
Statues with faces of torment
And rage and eyes that can peer
Into my soul and to excavate and retract
My inside intact within.
I begin to cry but my eyes won't let me
I'm dry.
It dragged me again and still I contain
These fears and eagerness to break from
A spell.
I yell I shout
I dabble with words and ideas
Just anythin that can help me out.

Senses

In the morning: As I walk with the unrelenting chip on my shoulder, chains around my ankles and dust in my eye, I follow the only sense that guides me under the bright lights.

My digestive tract barks and I cover my ears intolerable to even the slightest click from the changing traffic lights.

I ignore the obnoxious rays that tamper with my gentile eye lids and kick dirt to spite my complete disposition, all the while keeping distance from the hordes of stampede lined up in fashion in every possible direction.

A single touch might tick me, hit me and I'll make sure you won't use your peripherals again. I am not your friend.

In the morning I go back to the future of Mr. Grumpy, kind of clumsy still my heightened sense of sniffing out the goons might save me.

Only in the morning my nose knows best.

2 blocks

2 blocks it took me to realize
How inconvenient it has been
For me
To be me

2 blocks from the train I walked
Pass the playground and
The brown buildings
And I hated it all

I had never lost my temper
In public
Keen to the eyes that can judge you
Even from the quiet whisper

2 blocks it took me to be late
For a 6 o'clock meet

I had one of those
Days that never seemed to end
And I never apologized for
Being imperfect

2 blocks, I strolled and enjoyed
The few rays of sunshine
That beemed through my eye lids
The same sun that holds my neck
In a tight grip

Should I have apologize for lackin
Punctuality?
When I myself consider that
As a true virtue in society?

2 blocks it took me to realize
Why I'm me

unsatisfied, unwilling, unreliable and
unforgiving

I will not apologize and I will not sulk
And curse you for I am me.
I was an inconvenience only
To myself.

For you it was unfortunate.
I knew I was running late.

The poet

Ahh the poet, eager to show you the world
through his words and ideas.
Center of attention, just whenever he can get an audience.

Ahh the poet, slick mouthed, soulful, full of love and full of life.
Then there are those depressed as shit and drink all night.

Ahh the poet, but to no one in particular. I observe quietly in the back row.
Tryin to hold my applause or seize my cough
at the wrong moment.

I keep my mind and my ears open, but sometimes honestly I don't know What the hell ya’ll talking ‘bout.
I can hear the whiplash as you punch the audience with Lines as they gasp and clench their heart and say "ooooh,"
I'm in the back row, and I haven't got a clue.

Veterans and well known voices exchange gestures and laughs between stanza 3 and 4. The audience politely laughs and scream "yeah!" (Suckers who paid 10 bucks at the door.)
For what? To hear a bunch of pros, well spoken and eloquent with their rhymes and dialogues and jokes, while singing the same song they've sung before?
The scene when you look from the outside seems really intimidating.
You gotta have the wits and the snaps to roll with these peeps.
At least studied some books or ran through a few poems by famous authors.
Recited or written a few of your own, or given "roses are red violets are blue" to someone.
I'm not a critic and I'm not hating.
I observe all and feel like I'm with it.
If I don't know something I’ll elbow whoever
Is next to me and just pretend
I'm with it like, "wow!" Did you hear what he said?
Still no clue.

I'm not quick.
My mind runs at a certain pace that maybe some of ya’ll are too fast for.
I pace myself and breathe.
I try to have faith I try to believe.
To me it’s all new. I sit quietly in the back row. Trying to hold my applause and seize my cough. Why?
Because
I'm just waiting for my chance to go up.

so pretty

You look damn cute when you’re intoxicated
Is it a crime if I said this while I’m inebriated?
You have this sort of smile slash grin
I’m impressed and all the while ashamed
Time and time again.
I already know what you’ll say when I approach
“Hey you,” laughing it off with your lip stick smeared.
The whiff off of that vodka and juice
Made it easier for me to interlude
Swiftly
Words are exchanged we converse and arrange
A rendezvous at the nearest phone booth
At the stall
At the wall
We fell in love as we fell on the floor.
Lord knows my intentions are clear.
Or is it?
My friends Jack, Jose and Johnnie
Told me to do the right thing.
I’ll think about it but my head is bulging.

coffee shop scene

Hat slinging back the jet black

Hair smile peering through

Glass windows

Small puff with the long

Inhale of smoke

Tapping

The side of chamomile or chai

The aroma peers through the

Glass windows

Shift of tides a wave of dark mast

Erode the sands and prolong

The Inevitable

A breeze rolls through the

Glass windows

Time for the bill

Time for the crosswalk

Time to close the doors

And close the

Glass windows

On the cab

The familiarity of the unknown language comforts me

In ways that it normally wouldn't

The screech
The hums
The commandin monotone voice
That directs them to the next customer

I've spoken to that same guy for years now
Never knew his name
He recalled mine in haste

What can I say about loyalty?

I take in the 6-8 min cab ride from
Point a to point b
Grateful

Scarlet

I passed on it the first time
Thinking it wasn't right

Ill give it another go
The next time I have you on sight

Days or 2 weeks pass
Because I never dwell on things

Letting fate takes its course
Possibly someday running back into each other's path

I had climbed over the hills of the crowd
Huddled by the shade from the rain

And I waited for a moment of clarity

I took a chance once I saw the last rain drop

I walked over puddles and crossed the street
Looked up and gazed and our eyes meet

Fate brought us together in the most unpleasant day

I should have stopped you
But I felt it wasn't right

Thinking of the next time I'll have you on my sight

But there would be no other chance
I let it slip pass me again

Now I stand over the doorway of a building
Covered in rain

dope pickups for the past 2 weeks

Sucker

I'm clueless to how much I should shower you with my affection.

With much practice you'd think I'd come in with ease and perfection.

Lay you down flat kisses on the head

But I stutter and mumble to myself instead.

My timing is never right I'm reluctant to approach

Kissing and hugging you is what I think of most.

Holding hands while we sway down the street

Finishing each other's sentences when we speak.

I tried to convince you with my words that I adore you, but you seem unsure in accepting me.

What can I do? I can't contain this love that I have for you.

I want be wherever you are, kiss you slow under the moonlight and stars.

Take you to trips somewhere far.

Plan our days long ahead of our time

I just wish for you to be mine.

Instead, I lay here thinking. Two twenty six with my headache on lock

Still I wish to text you that "I love you a lot."

Tomorrow I can devise another plan, to make you my girl and me your man.

I'll be here for you until you’re sick of me, I'll be here to try and simply make you happy.

We can watch movies day and night, as long as you

Kiss me when it's over, come over baby come over.

I beg with my lower lip covering my upper

Dog-eyed until I get you in my paw my lover.
It’s late but I realized, this dream of mine is highly televised.

Perpetuated by commercial love and lies

Movies and music that run through my head

Replaced by what I see which is you instead.

I apologize for being so materialistic

To think of you as my possession is fucking sadistic.

Right Eye Closed

Ambition ruptured by a bullet of doubt

Shrouded by leers and glares inside and out.
Lacking course pursuing more
Heavy shoulders outweigh the core
Its purity alone is

Intoxicating and to
Suck the juice is poison
Reason out the predicament at hand

Struggle of a man with his own merit

45

Quarter to the hour right

Where it ends

Spring back another

Life to begin.

Push forward the blankets sheets pillows

where you once weeped.

Can't comfortably sleep with

Demons in the head. Let the reaper dig deep.

For once I hit the hour soul's siphon soon devour

Faith outlast the devilish

Glances in your eyes cast ocular

spiritual dances.

On the road for the midnight show.

Where it goes no one knows

silver

Fuckin loser, you were this close shoulda pushed harder just one tiny bit more step closer you had it by this much woulda placed now its a disgrace coulda came home with the gold struck rich and sold your hearts to millions of fans wat kind of man are you? 2 seconds after that pistol shot all the doubt in my mind came racin close to me like a ghost, tauntin me whisperin soft and heavy as my feet dragged my soul chained to the start line at the same time. I peak to the back lookin for bronze and not once did I picture myself behind him. I tried, to do the best I could, woulda had it shoulda been good. Fuck that better. No don't settle for nothin but the best. But I'm not born to place in first. 2nd place was a gift and a curse. I won't be the type to ever gloat, I'd still get silver tho it wasn't gold. I'd never be full never be satisfied, but I can always say atleast I tried. I'm more than the 3rd I'm first to him, but I'm second in class a loser who wins. Wins not the glory or the glamour, but bruises. I used to chase to that dreaded place. I've settled in the best possible case. But whoever said silver was okay never got to that next level. I can relate to it more than anybody. I'm that guy in the middle of nobody and somebody. Anybody. Who can it be? Anyone you see. Winners and losers have an identity. I placed 2nd to first and 2nd to last. I'm in the middle of some dick and an ass. I hate both them mufackers. They screwed me in this spot, never to drop or exceed, I'm in between those wants and needs. No clue why I'm gifted with words written down and in person I'm foolish like a clown. The bestfriend but not the betterfriend...cmon you know that shit makes a little bit of sense. Best man for this chick who's with a dick she comes for consolin back to him now she's lovin. Best in his heart with best intentions, no follow through his confidence lacks and withdrew from competition. He's certainly got the skill to outsmart common wit, but to step up to the champion status he quits. Almost in perfect sequence. 1 2 fall flat on the floor. Its a shame he won't be gleamin for gold. He look damn good in the silver piece, almost a whole though never complete. There's never an endin to that 2nd place, til you make another story of another race.